9 In. And It's Path To Divinity

Quoth Trollpop:

Forthcomingly, this paragon of a 24 hour period has perplexed me with the shining and the shimmering of it's light. The sun rises and falls and only the vast earthphiles that inhabit it can gaze on its bagel-shaped divinity. Oh what holy divinity! What might that soars from the rays of the great ball and how its fires strike us with the fury of 108 degrees celsius! What being so magnificent and rotund, quivering with the calories and fat of 5,000,000 ho-ho's, could render the lifeless into Juicemageddon(the juice only for children, albeit composed of the great peach nectar, as sir Master Arthur of the Public Broadcasting fame has taught us for many moons)?? The answer: We know this is how it is meant to be.

And now: the earthphile questions "why"?

Such a question is an engima in itself, a delightful nugget of dark chocolate pudding. Pudding that enraptures our spirits with life and <3, until we burst with the most fanciful of twirling. To undertake the role of spiritual master is difficult, and the way is hidden. To uncode the meanings and puzzles of a Trollpop is akin to removing the arms of a massive gorilla. This gorilla has been lashed 80 times by his cruel Lion-man, and has been force-fed a variety of hallucinogens and marijuana filled fudge cakes for days on end. And a man would dare attack this sadistisc BAMF(see: book) machine? Oh only the most n0ble and intoxicated of you fascinating lot would attempt such an idealistic manuever. But hear the words.....the sweetest of ribs and the whitest of Wonderbread awaits you masculine, six pack totin', runtmeisters. And my own title and eyelids have been staked on this bet.

The chirping birds above me are whailing to remove the eggs from their hatches, so my way must continue in their direction. I will uncover the curtains from behind my eyes to dispel the darkest of felines that would steal my rightful snack. Through many fists to their eyeballs, the victory will be held in my knuckles until I rejoice and partake in an erotic eat-fest of the orgasmatrons known as blue jay eggs. Fine thee well 0 beautiful followers(Katestein is blessed above many and shall be made empress # 34 of the kingdom), my journey began 8 hours past. Or something. ( | )8p