Monday, July 7, 2008

Beyond Geodudes and the Graveler Within

At long last children, the jinglestein makes his first appearance. Be not filled with trepidation, but rather feel the warm tidings carried within my loins spout onto your face, and be merry. This is a kind and gentle liquid, embrace it and become one. Is your heart not squeezed within a glass alcove in your chest so as to feel the flit of butterfly wings and the sour graze of first love in the fields of abundance? Is not the glistening pool of radiance enough to clip the toenail of God? And what a glorious clipper it is! Evolving from a mere sapling (or pupa if you will) into a fawning fledgling with the nectar of life sitting in his stomach and pervading his nubile body. Unto you I say, the sick and soulless, those without specks of future children in their eyes, wrap star anise pods about your bosom and kick the hoary old door of life ajar! What lies between the wax and wan is key, the mooning night sky flushes red with the blood of embarrassment and lights up the firmament in a blaze of menstrual glory. For this I deserve perdition? For this I am sent to rot amongst the nogoodnicks in some long forgotten gallows, to have my once lustrous tresses turn grey and my skin turn pallid and ghostly? It is all you who should be damned! You who suckle at your mothers teat with no regard for those lying in a gutter aching for a drop of the milk of human kindness to grace their tongues before retiring to the fecal chamber from whence they came!

All of this to say, don't trade away your Graveler, for he shall become a Golem and gain an unsavory temperament :-/.

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