I must explain my absence and abscesses.
1. The absence was due to soul-searching. By fasting ever so monastically I hoped to find my soul..........and..........good news! I found him. You'd never guess where the lil bugger was hiding either. It turns out, he was in the fiber of my being!
2. The abscesses are caused by a rare and disfiguring skin condition :-|
Seeing my brethren bond together so goldenly has brought a swelling to my bosom. In fact, not since I downed an entire pint of robitussin have my innards felt so swollen with medicinally-induced pride!
My third ocular cavity is quaking with copulatory glee! A solid 6.9 on the Richter Scale, if my meteorological degree from Vassar serves me correctly. ;-) There is one thing mind-scrabblingly unsettling about the above advert though. I am, of course, referring to this she-beasts uncanny ability to remove her spoon from her nose! It sets my chains a-jingling and my heebies a-jeebying just mulling this over, under, and every which way. One can only imagine what the next logical step would be: forks removed from knee caps, skewers removed from epicanthic folds! My mother always used to say, "A Mongoloid may feel down because of his syndrome, but he'll feel worse without his skewer."
Stay strong, my fellow epicanthally-inclined friend, and keep that utensil deeply rooted in your smell factory!
Jumping Jehovah's fat, I fear I am late for a cough syrup symposium with my fellow popping trolls, good day to you!