Monday, September 1, 2008

A Cool Dip In the Pond of Dreams

Quoth Janglestein:

I write, late this eve (or early this morn, as my current happy proximity to dawn suggests), in sheer, exuberant ecstasy.

In a mere pocket-full of hours, my words shall appear on the #1 region of the internet. My own close friend, idol, and obsession, Mr. Sarah B. Nielson, has agreed--nay, REQUESTED--to a guest post on my behalf.

Ever since I was a wee little Janglet in the locust-ridden corn fields of South Dakota, I have dreamed of naught but this moment -- to step inside the high-heeled footwear of Sarah Nielson for a day and sing my tales to world as she, so eloquently, doth. Now, with my entire life's ambition staring at me expectantly like an innocent, Mongoloid child, I must ask -- what is left to dream in this little old head of mine? What does one do when his life's work has been completed in a matter of months?

Naturally, the next logical steps have all occurred to me. Now that I reside upon her Tales of Wit And Charm, one might equally expect me to move into Nielstein Manor itself, living happily among the RLOs, Daisys, and so have yous of the world.

Yet after then, what? Shall we co-write a weekly newspaper article regarding our own love, dating, and entertainment? Ah, certainly a time will come for this as well.

As surely as the rock I sit on, all of these things will come to pass. But enough speculation; today is not a day of dreams, but of jubilation. With my fathers and mothers watching from below in joyful agony, I feel nothing if not pride. Let the battle cry of all Trollpop ring far and wide, stretching out across the seas in loud, orgasmic joviality!

Ironic indeed that on this Labor Day, we celebrate the pangs of growth, the crowning of achievements, and the birthing of a new and glorious life of Janglestein, Assstein, Wafflestein, Bagelstein, Jinglestein, Volkerstein, and Kriegstein!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Orgasmic joviality, indeed!!!

PS, thanks for the follow ;-)

Anonymous said...

South Dakota rocks!
ONLY because my very best friend lives there - although she'll be moving back here to Iowa next weekend. - and... because you live there!

I love, love, love your writing!

You did an awesome job on Nielson's blog. I especially enjoyed the part where you expressed your purpose and joy by showing the video of Daisy chasing her tail.

That is life indeed!

Anonymous said...

YOu are a fucking freak

Anonymous said...

Do you think that people call you a "fucking freak" because they haven't the intellectual capacity to understand what you're saying?

Seriously, whoever the hell you are, you have given me the funniest Labor Day in recent memory. Thanks!

P.S: Trying to figure out who you are is akin to waiting for the next season of Lost. I'm on the edge of my seat, man!

Shad said...

You fine sir misunderstood me. I would never condone an act of violence. I was merely suggesting an option for self defense if needed.

Anonymous said...

I like you, your writing makes me smile.